Ambrosia From A Far Off Land

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Sensory Bounty From Afar

I had recently falling into a deep and nearly unending slumber. My soul floated as if untethered to my mortal shell. I found myself seeing myself through the countless shattered fragments of an infinite mirror. I chased after countless shards, each one a precious facet of my own self.

Eventually, I was brought back to the waking world, my inner self once again bound tightly by my iron will. I opened my one eye which was not cursed with the penetrating vision of infinite insight. I arose and found that the spirits had brought forth some treasure from an unknown land.

The illustrations on the oddly pliable vessel indicated that much joy would be attained through the consumption of the contents. Yet, when I removed the cap, I found that the contents were as nearly well sealed off as my own inner darkness. An impenetrable membrane of metal. The work of a craftsman to be sure.

It was while pondering how I would penetrate this divine shield that I noticed the pointed tip of the vessel’s cap. Ah! A hidden tool to effect the release of this condensed compound of joy.

Ambrosia of Another world
Kalles Creamed Smoked Cod Roe Spread

The Substance Embodying The Essence of Smoke and Sea

When I applied my cursed eye to extract understanding of the tube’s contents, I learned that the contents were created through an amalgamation of elements:

  • The crushed jewels of aquatic life essence
  • Crystalized essence of sweet flora blood
  • Ground Earthborn Tears
  • Flakes of the Fruit of the Dark Earth
  • An assortment of alchemic powders to increase the longevity of the amalgamation
Jewels of Aquatic Life Essence
Salmon Red Caviar, Premium Chum Roe

My other self that can see into past lives informs me in shadowed whispers that such a blend would serve as a great meal for my own self and that which dwells within. I had nothing which would have properly paired with such a thing, but I entreated to obtain several waif like slabs of the common person’s grain-food as well as the congealed and aged fluid of life from the horned and hoofed creatures of the pastures.

I somehow managed to control my hand… shaking from the hidden soul’s excitement of what is to come… long enough to bring the off white cream and the earthen brown slab together. Thus forming a sufficient platform for the wonder that is to color the canvas of the palate.

Experiencing The Surge of Released Essence

So what gastronomic experiences did this fusion of disparate stuffs of existence produce? If one enjoys the sensation, the taste, and the smell of the sea, then this Ambrosia of a far off land… I personally found it incompatible with my palate. The fishiness of the paste was too excessive for me.

Fish roe paste on cream cheese and crackers. Contains the essence of the ocean... as well as the taste and smell.

Beware… Do Not Use In The Chuuni Vessel!

I have thankfully not committed this folly. However, I felt it important enough to mention: do not try to process this foodstuff within the Chuuni Vessel of Pressure. Bad Things(TM) of an olfactory nature will happen. You’ve been warned

The Chuuni Vessel of Unyielding Force

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A Device Like Unto My Own Self

I was wandering through the ether in search of past life brother and sisters. Those Chuuni who shared the burden of my well of condensed darkness. Some other being or entity that understood the unending burden of keeping within… that which sought to escape.

A power that strained against the bindings… a great force that… if harnessed for good… would be a great ally indeed.

What I found, in my wanderings was a collection of devices very much like myself. Vessels with the destiny of gathering the unseen forces of the world and forcing them deep within themselves. They reminded me of the ancient magic vessels of old. The halcyon objects that condensed the essence of the ancient mages. The vessels which I observed in front of myself bore some resemblance to these mythical devices. In my excitement, I reached out with my sealed inner self and brought the devices from beyond the veil…

“The Instant Pot”
aka
“Vessel of Unyielding Force”

Alchemic Vessel

The vessel in question, simply called the “The Instant Pot”. This device takes in the energetic force from the energy network that permeates the land. The device’s voracious appetite consumes 1200W of energy while it is condensing the ether.

The wisdom of my inner self brought forth a device that could contain 8 quarts of space. And within this space, the device can bring forth heat, pressure, and serve as the catalyst for change. The design and construction is reminiscent of the work of mythic races like Dwarves and Gnomes. The somewhat violent nature of the treatment of the contents… does not seem to be aligned with creations common to craftsmen of Elvish lineage.

Transformation of The Flesh

Over the course of months, I have subjected a wide variety of flesh to the hellish environment of the inner chamber of the vessel. I have found that the generous amount of heat and pressure generated and contained within, the inner will of the living tissue of living creatures are made weak. It is as if the meat had been subjected to the torment of Hell itself… the fire, oppressive atmosphere, and the wearing down of the soul. All of that is found to be evident in the hellish pot.

The moment of release, the device shrieks with the piercing sound of the banshee. Great heat capable of scalding the hands is emitted with great force. The sweet fragrance lulls one into a false sense of heaven within… when the truth is that hell is made manifest in our realm… so that the powers from the dark depths below are brought to bear and render the flesh of beasts more palatable to the average person.

When I gazed upon the bubbling concoction revealed with the opening of the vessel… I felt my inner demons roar with a force that drove me to restrain my sealed arm. I was trembling with the desire to consume the transformed flesh.

Once the urges had subsided, I feasted upon what the vessel yielded and found the flavor and texture to be comparable to the effort of a cook having labored for the better part of the day. Truly an amazing device.

Fusion of Nature and Magic

Encouraged by the results of the transformation of beast flesh, I brought forth willful tubers and taproots. Having been spawned below the ground, having fed upon and grown on the darkness. I worried that the similarity of the elements would not yield a result to my liking.

I had sought the familial cousins of the nightshade family… and upon finding them, I extracted their fleshy bodies. Several hefty hunks, cleaved from the whole, were placed within the “The Instant Pot” along with the requisite amount of pure spring water. The ritual I employed with the beast flesh… I employed with the severed hunks.

I watched as the vessel brought to bear the forces of the underworld and once again wondered at the calm on the outside of what was otherwise an incredibly inhospitable environment being formed. Time passed and the shrieking of escaping souls came to pass. I gazed upon the contents and saw that the white flesh of the plant body had darkened, taking on a dove grey color… even slightly earth like.

The texture was dense and amazing. The flavor took on a flavor that was reminiscent of nuts.

Indispensable Device of Gastronomic Alchemy

There are apparently a wide spectrum of forms with which these devices take form!

Their external colors span the colors of the rainbows. Their form as varied as the beasts that roam the Earth. They come from far away lands as well as nearby neighbors. Truly a wonderous tool of our era!